Tag Archives: humor

How I Write – a drunken, violent, yelling-filled guide to the aspiring writer

How much muse (alcohol) is enough muse? That’s particular to each individual writer, but as a rule of thumb I find once I start “losing time” the creative pump is adequately primed. What happens next is the magic of the craft. No writer can truly tell you what happens once they “get into the zone” but I can tell you I usually wake up in my underwear, shivering under my writer’s cot, my fists clutching glow wand and lottery tickets. Continue reading

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The 5 Most Common Time Travel Mistakes

Ever since time travel was invented in the mid 1980’s, man has enjoyed the pleasures and stress-relieving benefits of bopping along the time stream. What better way to unwind after a hard day at office than to spend a few hours in that mystical land of “the past” where every day is a Renaissance fair? Time travel, however, is not a right but a privilege, and with that privilege comes great responsibility. With that in mind, whether this is your this is your first time “trippin’” or your 1,000th, we could all do well to refresh ourselves on the 5 most common time travel mistakes, the potential damages they pose against the space-time continuum and what you can do to avoid them. Continue reading

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Things People Won’t Say to Me Once I Own a Dragon

That I haven’t totally recovered in a kick ass way from the divorce.

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The Post in Which I Save the Environment

As it is I can’t stop huffing gasoline. Oh gasoline, you smell like rainbows. Continue reading

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Jokes My Four Year Old Recently Told Me

What did the giraffe say to the sky?

A: Get lost, buddy! Continue reading

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Things You Should Never Say at a Chuck E. Cheese Birthday Party

“Hey why don’t we skip the pitcher of beer and just set me up with an IV, eh Chuck? Just kidding, but seriously, keep those pitchers coming. Dad’s in some pain and he needs his medicine.” Continue reading

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Names of Failed Boxers and Wrestlers

The Pernicious Pincher, Ray “Maxi Pad” Thomas, “Headless” Manny Nelson, James “Down Syndrome” Downy, Bisexual Jackson, Brian “The Test Came Back Positive” Fuller, Fisty McNoFists, Sir Bleeder Continue reading

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