Tag Archives: humor

Greatest Movie Ever!

Watch out Chuck Norris, there a new Internet bad ass in town. Continue reading

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Scarface as an Elementary School Play

Amazing. So many nuances you don’t get from the script until you hear a 7-year-old do the dialog. The line, “I’ve got a fudging junkie for a wife,” never resonated until this second grader spoke the words. Continue reading

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6 Spectacularly Bad Ideas From History’s Greatest Geniuses

Tesla’s Earthquake Machine, Thomas Edison the Ghost Buster and Flying Tanks. Continue reading

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The Dark Knight – Starring Calvin and Hobbes

Not the imaginary friend this city deserves, but the one it needs. Continue reading

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6 Famous Movie Wisemen Who Were Totally Full of Crap

Sometimes you’ll be watching a movie and an old wise man will appear on the screen. He will say little, but those few words will be full of sage advice that will guide the hero on his journey. You may even find yourself quoting him later.

What is easy to forget is that behind that wise old man is just a hack Hollywood screenwriter, and that those ancient words of wisdom were thrown in on the third draft, at four in the morning, after half a pound of cocaine. Continue reading

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5 Things The Media Loves Pretending Are News

Reporting the news is really hard. We’ve seen those poor guys standing in the hurricanes, trying to hold on to their microphone while debris flies by. And it’s a good thing we have them; blogs and Twitter are nice, but to find out what’s really going on in the world, at some point you need good old-fashioned journalism.

So can you blame a news outlet for using shortcuts and falling into the same old mistakes and cliches over and over again, just to fill space?

Yes, yes we can. Continue reading

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The 6 Most Half Assed Attempts at Corporate Green Washing

For a person, “going green” is as simple as recycling more, wasting less and always, always, always behaving like an insufferable prick in social situations. But for a corporation, “going green” can be a much harder task that costs million of dollars, thousands of hours of manpower and often painful company-wide cutbacks.

Or, they can opt to do jack shit and just spend all of their money and effort convincing the public otherwise. This is what is referred to as “greenwashing,” and it works like this: Continue reading

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How to Write the Next Twilight, Stephen King Book or Critically Acclaimed Novel

Everyone wants to write the next blockbuster book series. And it’s easy to see why; authors such as Stephanie Meyer and Dan Brown have proven all it takes is a fifth-grade reading level and an utter contempt for your audience to hit pay dirt. So let’s get started, and by “started” I don’t mean enroll in a prestigious creative writing institution. Writers are doers, not learners. If college was for people who do things they’d call it “Do-llege.” You don’t need college. All you need are these simple tips: Continue reading

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7 Great Products for Telling the World You’re a Rich Prick

New article up on Cracked in which I help you to loathe rich people even more than you already do by showcase extravagant cat weddings, $12,000 erotic massages…for your car and a half million dollar dog house with retinal scanner security and 50-inch plasma TV.You’re welcome, collapse of society. Continue reading

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How to Recognize Comedy

We all crave a chuckle now and then, but most of us chose to receive our larfs in safe venues like open mike comedy clubs or your local college improvisational team. Why limit your yuks to these rare and controlled occasions when comedy is all around us? Comedy is, after all, nothing more than a common situation with surprising or unexpected results. I myself have an uncanny knack for recognizing comedy in daily existence. Allow me to present some recent situations I found myself in to illustrate how to spot comedy in your life. Continue reading

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