Tag Archives: funny

Sorry Folks, Bloggers are Not Real Writers

Party’s over, guys. We all suck. Time to hang-up our wordpress pages and go back to our jobs as private detectives and Thoroughbred semen collectors. Continue reading

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Wilford Brimley Pooping Hot Pockets from a Trapeze

can words describe it? no, I think you must see to know. Continue reading

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Batman Vs. Shark with Lightsaber

Give up looking for the most bad ass thing in the universe, we’ve found it. Continue reading

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Irish Country Music FAIL – “He Drinks Tequila”

The Irish should never make Country/Western music. Let Crystal Swing show you how not to do a thing. Continue reading

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Scary Toy Commercial – FAIL

It’s both a frightening toy and horrifying commercial. Sleep well. Continue reading

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The 6 Most Half Assed Attempts at Corporate Green Washing

For a person, “going green” is as simple as recycling more, wasting less and always, always, always behaving like an insufferable prick in social situations. But for a corporation, “going green” can be a much harder task that costs million of dollars, thousands of hours of manpower and often painful company-wide cutbacks.

Or, they can opt to do jack shit and just spend all of their money and effort convincing the public otherwise. This is what is referred to as “greenwashing,” and it works like this: Continue reading

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Best/Worst Campaign Ad Ever – Carly Fiorina’s Laser Sheep

The sheep, oh the sheep. Especially the one with the laser eyes. What is happening in this spot? Continue reading

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How I Write – a drunken, violent, yelling-filled guide to the aspiring writer

How much muse (alcohol) is enough muse? That’s particular to each individual writer, but as a rule of thumb I find once I start “losing time” the creative pump is adequately primed. What happens next is the magic of the craft. No writer can truly tell you what happens once they “get into the zone” but I can tell you I usually wake up in my underwear, shivering under my writer’s cot, my fists clutching glow wand and lottery tickets. Continue reading

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A Special Environmental Message from Mr. T

Hey sucka. That’s right, this is Mr. T. Yeah, I still exist. Mr. T’s taking a break from pitying fools and looking for paying work to yell at you about sustainability. What, you don’t think Mr. T knows about sustainability? Then you don’t know Mr. T. Here is some other stuff you don’t know about Mr. T:

• Many folk believe Mr. T’s name “B.A.” on the A-Team stands for Bad Attitude. It doesn’t. It stands for “Bees and Ants.” Mr. T thought his character should have the secret power to control bees and ants. NBC didn’t go for it, which is why Mr. T thinks NBC stands for “Never Be Considering” Mr. T’s suggestions. Continue reading

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Super Bowl XLVI Commentated by 19th Century English Dandy Lord Horatio Byron Fluttersby.

My word, what is this, my good fellows? Could this be a game of footsieball? Well, well. Why I could watch footsieball for a fortnight. Ee Gads! Continue reading

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