Godzilla Sunk the Titanic

Way better than James Cameron’s version. YOU HEAR ME CAMERON?!

Why Yes, There is A Sexy Chewbacca Costume

Thanks to Halloween and seriously misplaced sexual impulses, I can bang a Wookie. And just for $240! Who doesn’t want to bang a wookie? Oh, no one? Okay.

Four Bizarre Baby Halloween Costumes that Count as Child Abuse

Baby Hitler

Boy this reeks of trying too hard. If you’re looking for a way to tell the world, “I am way too edgy to be a parent” dressing your kid like Hitler will do the trick. Amazing attention to detail on the costume, though. That had to take 10’s of hours to make. Which means this kid’s mom or dad sat for a couple of late nights, stitching on swastikas and thinking, “this is gonna be so CUTE!”

Congrats, Baby Hitler, on winning the Douchebag Olympics, Parenting Division. Perhaps next year mom and dad will dress you as a cancerous tumor or genocide.

9 “Sexy” (but Disturbing) Halloween Costumes – 2011

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Usually when women whore it up get dressed up for Halloween, they choose costumes embodying the typical male fantasies: sexy pirate, sexy nurse, sexy pirate nurse, etc… I’m sure there’s even a sexy astronaut costume out there for those who get an erection every time they watch Deep Impact. But some “sexy” costumes, well they just–whoo boy–they’re just way off the mark.

The Sexy Snake Charmer

What You’re Trying to Say

“My penis is long and exotic. I also am funny.”

What You’re Actually Saying

“I know nothing about the Middle East. Plus my penis spits venom.”

One Word: Discocunt

No, take a second look. That does not say, ” ‘dis coconut.” Greatest typo ever:

This Website Will Melt Your Face (with Smooth Jazz)!

If you never imagined an industrial paint supplier website you could make love to, you need to dream bigger! Saying much more would ruin the wonderfully erotic surprise behind this very sensual industrial paint site. (Wow, this post sounds like so much of the spam I’ve received over the years)

Just go there; I’ll see you on the other side.

http://industrialpainter.com/

Source: http://cooltweet.tumblr.com/

The Entire Internet in One Video

Boobs, trombones, Lamborghinis and Furries–this one minute video pretty much sums up the whole cyberspace experience.

Steve from Blue’s Clues Dates a Playboy Model

Fun with Cole on Twitter

No, seriously. A true story from the real guy who played “Steve”, Steve Burns, on Blue’s Clues on how to parlay Nick Jr. fame into banging Playboy Models, poorly. These days Steve looks like David Cross and sounds Marc Maron. Great story. Watch the video.

Cone-ing: The New Planking

Finally, a pointless Internet fad I can get on board with. Because I love manhandling me some McDonald’s ice cream cones.

If you’re too lazy to watch an Internet video, put down your feeding tube and read this definition:

Batman Trilogy Posters Combined

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Time to spaz out.