Best/Worst Campaign Ad Ever – Carly Fiorina’s Laser Sheep

The sheep, oh the sheep. Especially the one with the laser eyes. What is happening in this spot? It looks like someone dropped photoshop down the stairs and then rubbed it with Ecstacy. Who are the sheep? Are we the sheep? This political ad gives me the strong impression I’m supposed to kill sheep.  First one who correctly guesses what this ad is about gets my pristine collection of vintage Peanuts cartoons collectible glasses from McDonald’s. Or you get to slap my ass. The choice is yours. (P.S. the political ad is for a woman who used to run Hewlett Packard!)

Fun with Cole on Facebook

Yep, we (royal we, of course) are/am on the Facesbook. See ya der!

Tell the Supreme Court You Don’t Want Corporate-Owned Government

Nothing funny here (I know, kinda defeats the title “Fun with Cole”), just a call to join this Facebook group against the Supreme Courts recent ruling.

Join it

Conan O’Brien on Fox: Pros vs. Cons

New article up at “America’s Favorite Comedy Website Under a Year Old” (mine doesn’t count as it began as a support group for depressed ferret breeders). Read some here, then finish it there.

The Late Night scrap-up has undoubtedly been one of the most fun public battles between multi-millionaires since John Jacob Astor and J.D. Rockefeller dueled on national radio with giant bags of money. But when the dust settles, our beloved Coco must find a new home and one particular network, Fox, is frothing at the mouth for the coup. What would a Foxy Conan look like, and should we care?  Let’s weigh the pros and cons.

7 Common Survival Tactics (that Will Get You Killed)

New article on Cracked that will literally save your life. You’re welcome.

Most of us like to think we’d make it through many life-threatening situations just fine. After all, you’ve seen the Discovery channel, you’ve watched disaster movies and you’ve got a good logical head on our shoulders. You should be just fine, right?

But that’s like thinking you’ll be good in a fight because you’ve watched a Jackie Chan movie; whatever “techniques” you think you’ve learned are more likely to get your dumb ass killed.

CONTINUE

5 Clothing Innovations That Will be Annoying You Soon

Here’s an article I edited (added ha-ha’s and larfs to) but the writer mentioned is the true research genius. Enjoy!

By Matthew Hayden

There are certain inventions that really don’t evolve, and most clothing falls into that category. Sure, styles and fabrics change, but the shirt has been using the same basic design for centuries. A hunk of fabric with holes for your arms and head. It works just fine.

But the world is full of designers and inventors who need to pay the bills, and so they are busy trying to apply the latest technology to items of clothing that really, really don’t need it. Here are the awful fruits of their labors.

Continue to enjoy…

How to Write the Next Twilight, Stephen King Book or Critically Acclaimed Novel

Everyone wants to write the next blockbuster book series. And it’s easy to see why; authors such as Stephanie Meyer and Dan Brown have proven all it takes is a fifth-grade reading level and an utter contempt for your audience to hit pay dirt. So let’s get started, and by “started” I don’t mean enroll in a prestigious creative writing institution. Writers are doers, not learners. If college was for people who do things they’d call it “Do-llege.” You don’t need college.  All you need are these simple tips:

7 Great Products for Telling the World You’re a Rich Prick

New article up on Cracked in which I help you to loathe rich people even more than you already do by showcase extravagant cat weddings, $12,000 erotic massages…for your car and a half million dollar dog house with retinal scanner security and 50-inch plasma TV. You’re welcome, collapse of society.

Digg it.

Stumble it.

Clash of the Titans Tag-line: The Future of Advertising?

Will you remember where you were the day the world changed? No not when a free and bountiful energy source was found. Not when we cured AIDS (well actually we didn’t cure it, we just tweaked it so now when you get AIDS all that happens is you gain the power to shoot laser beams out of your genitals!) We’re talking a real earth shattering, epochal event. Well, pull up your pants and take a seat, because that day is today, for today is the day movie advertising got REAL!

How to Recognize Comedy

We all crave a chuckle now and then, but most of us chose to receive our larfs in safe venues like open mike comedy clubs or your local college improvisational team.  Why limit your yuks to these rare and controlled occasions when comedy is all around us?  Comedy is, after all, nothing more than a common situation with surprising or unexpected results.  I myself have an uncanny knack for recognizing comedy in daily existence.  Allow me to present some recent situations I found myself in to illustrate how to spot comedy in your life.

AT THE BANK

ME: Excuse me, Mr. Banker, I was wondering if you could give me a loan.

BANKER: You have to fill out an application, but first, could you loan me twenty bucks?

ME: (doing a double take) You, the banker are asking me for a loan? That’s absurd!

BANKER: I know, it’s wholly inappropriate.

ME: And here I was trying to get a loan from you.  This is not the predictable outcome, is it?

BANKER: No, indeed it is not.

ME: You know what’s happening here?

BANKER: Comedy?

ME: Bingo.

 

AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE