Terrifying, Lifelike Avatar Na’vi Baby Now Available to Haunt Your Nightmares

There are people who really enjoy cinema and then there are those who need movies as an alternate reality to escape from the oppressively lonely “real” reality we all call life. That people have gone overboard with their love of both the movie Avatar and desire to live on Pandora as a hacky metaphor for Native Americans was just a natural and depressingly sad inevitability. But a harmless one, we hope.

Why the Publishing Industry Fears You (John Hodgman) and a Question ONLY YOU Can Answer

Good Evening Sir,

Let me first say I’m honored you took the time to ignore this missive. You and I both know you will not, nor will you ever, read this. At the most, perhaps your manservant will briefly glance at it before deleting this message and delivering you a carafe of ether. As a Very Famous Minor Celebrity and Deranged Millionaire, your schedule must be maddeningly packed, what with your impressive collection of Third World dictators’ toenail clippings to keep up, county fair pie-eating contests to judge and traipsing about the globe with your pet miniature narwhal, Eleanor Roosevelt, in a hot air balloon made from spider-goat silk. So confident am I that these words and your eyes will never meet, I’ve attached a piece of vintage erotica, something of a minor diversion/obsession of mine, to the bottom of this post. It only saddens me that you will not get the chance to share my enthusiasm for 19^th century boudoir portraiture and bare ankles.

Charlie Brown’s X-Men

Just another example of the Internet being the Internet. That will do, Internet. That will do.

The Best Technical College Video You Will Ever See

This is why teleportation is a bad idea. WARNING: This gets dark out of nowhere.

Bill Murray’s Part to Be Recast in Ghostbusters 3 – By The Rock Probably

Now we see how desperately Dan Ackroyd wants this thing. Ackroyd hasn’t said he’s looking at Dwayne Johnson for the new Peter Venkman, but the signs lead to it. The Rock is the go to guy for replacing people in sequels. Besides, doubt anyone will notice Dr. Peter Venkman is now a 6’5″ black/Hawaiian wrestler. Genius.

From the AV Club

Racists, Hitler and Other Warped Dr. Seuss Works

This is pretty much what the Internet was invented for.

Chapter Excerpt: Conquer Religion!

Conquer Old People!

 

Conquer the Best Seller List!

Chapter Excerpt: Conquer Sex!