Boy with 31 Fingers and Toes (and what He has in Common with Megan Fox)

The old saying, “we’ll just be happy if the baby has ten fingers and ten toes” isn’t really about fingers and toes. It’s just a bland statement about wanting a healthy baby and caring about nothing else. But what does finger and toe count have to do with general health anyhow?

For example, take this six-year-old boy with 15 fingers and 16 toes. Granted, no one wants to be something other than normal, and buying shoes must be a bitch, but he’s undergoing an operation to remove the extra digits. It’s not a terminal state, this polydactyly (yep, that’s a word).

CONTINUE

6 Spectacularly Bad Ideas From History’s Greatest Geniuses

My new Cracked article is up in which I discuss Tesla’s Earthquake Machine, Thomas Edison the Ghost Buster and Flying Tanks.

The modern world as we know it was shaped by the minds of geniuses. But the same “outside the box” thinking that gave us our great innovations also gave them some truly ridiculous ideas.

Does that give us the right to mock some of history’s greatest minds? Ah, who knows?

CONTINUE

Oregon is Number 2 in America for Largest Penises

According to some place called Condomania. This is a “big” deal for a guy from Portland.

…”big.”

UPDATE: In the ranking of the 15 cities with the biggest wieners, Portland ranks 6th, pole vaulting us (heh, “pole”) ahead of Miami, Chicago, Boston and, of course, Seattle. Suck it, Seattle. you and your itty bitty weenies!

Source: http://secure.condomania.com/rankings/

Disney Banning Actresses with Fake Boobs from Movies

As a parent, there is much you must keep an eye on when it comes to what you’re kids are watching. Is it violent, foul, teach awful lessons? Does it resemble an acid trip starring Anthony Bourdain? Well here’s one less thing you’ll need to guard your children from: big fake boobs.

In casting the next in its Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, Disney has requested casting directors only send actresses with, “real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants.”

Batman Vs. Darth Vader

After Batman Vs. Shark, this Batman mash-up stuff may soon get out of control.

The Dark Knight – Starring Calvin and Hobbes

Not the imaginary friend this city deserves, but the one it needs.

Thanks to Ralphabetsoup

Sorry Folks, Bloggers are Not Real Writers

Hell, bloggers probably aren’t even real people. Party’s over, guys. We all suck. Therefore I’m just filling your eyeballs with nonsensical jibber jabber. Or, at least some fuckwit at the SXSX festival informed me of such. Time to hang-up our wordpress pages and go back to our jobs as private detectives and thoroughbred semen collectors.

Man, SXSW, you used to be cool.

May I Blow Your Pants Off? New PREDATORS Trailer

Yes, I know. I’ve been posting a lot of movie and pop culture stuff recently. Is it my fault that there has been a swell of awesomeness as of late? Yes, it probably is. Anywho:

If you care for bad assery, here it is in poster form. New EXPENDABLES Poster!!

Still not sure I want to see it though.

The only word that does anything for me there is “Rouke.” Can he be a gold toothed Russian bad ass in every film? Maybe a gold toothed Russian bad ass in a remake of Brideshead Revisted.

Wilford Brimley Pooping Hot Pockets from a Trapeze

Obviously

JUMP TO EMBIGGEN the DIABEATEEZ_RIDDEN, PASTRY SNACK POOPING AEROBATIC ARTIST!