The Winnebago Man Movie

Remember “Winnebago Man.” You know, the You Tube Meme about a guy having a really rough day taping an RV video that you watched a couple billion times? They made a movie about him. No f***ing Shit (see how I edit one naughty word, but not the other? I don’t want my mom to know I know the word “fuck”.) It’s not a parody, it’s a real live documentary. On film, not beta max.

Cracked Comedy Classic: People with Pointless Super Powers

I wrote this for Cracked a year ago but they’re republishing it because it’s a classic. You hear me, a god damn classic! Also, the picture below is of a man lifting heavy metal with his junk. Guess you’re gonna have to read the article now to figure that one out.

6 People With Amazing Abilities (That Are Totally Useless)

Give Up, This 7-Year-Old Will Defeat You in All Things

You, me, anyone reading this will never have this much can-do, radioactive confidence. So let’s all give up our silly dreams and let this girl be the queen of everything.

Brilliant IKEA Commercial

WTF of the Day: 7-Year-Olds Perform Sexy Version of “Single Ladies”

Like I’ve said before, the children are our future. And our future is full of hyper sexualized toddlers emotionally and developmentally dysfunctional thanks to parents who really, really don’t get he whole “parenting” thing.

But hey, the crowd likes it. Shake those moneymakers you pre-pre-pre-pre teens!

Dog Dances to Techno

Ladies and Gentlemen, Rave Dog!

Snake Vs. Bazooka

It’s really the only way to kill a snake (OOPS! Spoiler Alert!)

Riding a motorcycle through a wall to shot a bazooka at a syphilitic-looking snake puppet is very, very reasonable. Especially when said bazooka shot only blows said snake’s head off. No explosion. That is very reasonable and bazookas are very handy household pest removal devices. And no mess to clean up!

My Son Has a Militarized Wiener

My three-year-old son: “There’s a tank in my penis.”

Me: “That’s totally natural.”

Honestly, haven’t we all felt like there’s a proverbial tank in our proverbial penis at some point or another?

Also, “There’s a tank in my penis,” is probably the best pick-up line I’ve ever heard.

P.S. I hope it’s not a Soviet Tank, those break down a lot. Plus I don’t want a bunch of borsht-eating Russkies in my boy’s wang.

Cracked: How The Karate Kid Ruined The Modern World

David Wong figures out exactly what’s wrong with kids, and subsequently the world, these days and it all comes back to The Karate Kid. No seriously, he makes an excellent point. Also, glad to see I’m not the only one three steps away from getting arrested at a Denny’s.

Of Course There’s a Batman Porn

If you follow Batman 3 news daily, and you do, you’d know that the next chapter of the Christian Bale/Christopher Nolan Gritty-Bat series will hit your eyeballs June of 2012. But that doesn’t mean you have to wait two years to see more Batman. Especially is by “more Batman” you mean “Bat Wiener.”

Clearly this the most expensive porn ever made. Look at the production value! They actually got the original Batmobile. And the guy/porn actor playing The Joker actually looks like Caesar Romero. Now if someone could just explain who Caesar Romero is to the kids.

So this is obviously “ironic porn” which I guess takes some of the shameful sadness out of renting or buying the thing. But at the end of the day ironic porn is there to give you a decidedly unironic boner. And with porn versions of Seinfeld, 30 Rock, The Big Lebowski and more in the world, do they even make non-ironic pron anymore?