Since I’ve already posted some amazing art of Batman tackling a shark with a lightsaber and Batman trading parries with Darth Vader, I’m kind of obligated to post this latest extension of the “Batman VS.” universe. Not to slight this artist, this is great work and I hard core love me some Brave and the Bold.
Props to artist Dean Kotz.
Yep, that's what she looks like.
This is how Nicole and I got engaged: we were both drunk in a bar and she dared me to do it. I ripped the stems from two cocktail cherries and tied them into a loop, placing the sticky cherry stem “ring” on Nicole’s ring finger. Looking back on how it began, it makes sense now how the wedding turned out.
Whenever someone claims their cat can smile or say words like, “twenty three ski-doo!” I’m inclined to smile politely and chalk up their delusion to Old Cat Lady Brain (sorry grandma). But I’ll be horns-waggled if this pug isn’t singing the theme to the 60’s Batman TV show.
On one hand, I’m super happy Jake Gyllenhaal is so easily amused. I mean, we should all be happy, you know? But then I get to thinking perhaps Jake Gyllenhaal has access to some kind of super food that only celebrities and astronauts are allowed to have. Some kind of food that tells you knock knock jokes while you eat it. Or perhaps it just tells you about the embarrassing time it lost its virginity in the backseat of a Tercel. And then, just thinking about that super amazing food only Jake Gyllenhaal gets to have make me real mad.
So mad in fact, I’m taking some of those extra letters in your name. Look at you with your double “L”s and double “A”s, flaunting and prancing your extraneous letters around like some kind of rich and unshaven peacock. Now you’re just Jake Gylenhal. Har!
Peanut butter and jelly, BBQ chicken sandwiches…delicious. Unless of course it comes in a can.
But the only news better than a horrifying new food product is that the Candwich is at the center of an investment fraud case. Money manager Travis Wright took $145 million dollars of investors’ money, money those investors thought was going toward real estate, and sunk it all into the development of the Candwich.
What, couldn’t raise the money by offering people a future in the canned sandwich biz?
Presented without comment.
Okay maybe one: man those are some suggestively juicy hot dogs. ( I didn’t say juicy wieners because we’re grown ups, okay?) Okay, two comments: that much body hair plus food preparation is screaming hair net. Do they make a chest hair net too? Did Robin Williams ever work at a MacDonald’s? Man, Wolverine looks less like he’s eating that dog and more like he’s teaching it an important life lesson through tough love. “I’m gonna keep stabbing you until you learn to stand up for yourself, hot dog wiener!” Also, I think I need an adult because the way Wolverine’s mouth is approaching that hot dog you’d think it was Jean Grey. I don’t even know what that last line means; it’s a joke for nerds.
Somehow the wiener rash disappearance and restraint in saying “eggs” seem connected. Theories?
I helped put this one together. Let’s talk 9-year-old children forced into coal mines and castrati. Read this to your kids tonight at bedtime.
This summer terror is in the air! (and that’s not terror’s natural habitat, so yikes.)
At least it’s not Sea Bear
Happy Humpday!
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