35 Reasons Why You Should Own a Dragon

Your birthday is coming up, (it isn’t? Who cares, let’s just enjoy comedy) and when it comes to gifts, you probably have a lot of things on your wish list.  All of these desired items, in your mind, are going to somehow make your life significantly more awesome.  Maybe you’re right, but chances are, there is one thing missing from your list that you haven’t even thought of.  Let’s not even mince words here.  Have you asked anyone for a dragon?  If not, you’re fucking up.  Here’s 35 reasons why…

• Dragons are the most eco-friendly mode of transportation available. All they run on is magic, dreams and the blood of orphans. Take that, Prius owners!

• Everyone will be able to see you’ve totally recovered in a kick ass way from the divorce.

• Never again will anyone say, “You don’t know your way around a dragon.”

• World’s Greatest Pick-up Line: “Hey, ever do it on the back of a dragon?”

• World’s Second Greatest Pick-up Line: “Hey, ever do it with a dragon watching?”

• You can give you and your dragon cool nicknames like “Big Daddy and Flamer” or “Sherriff Lobo and Senator Bumpass” or “Danny Diablo and His Incredibly Special Friend.”

• Contracting Dragon AIDS from your dragon is nothing to worry about. In fact, the main symptom of dragon AIDS is you get increased penmanship skills.

Cracked: Animals as Weapons

Yes, a Cracked article I added jokes to. Of course you want this is in your brain right now!

Russian Slides Suck!

This is why they lost The Cold War.

Skin Helmets

Sometimes you just need to creep people out on the go.

Chewbacca Fighting Nazis Whilst Riding A Giant Squirrel

Why? Because it’s obvious, that’s why. Nature progression of the Star Wars universe. Circle of Life.

(via The High Definite)

New Cracked Article: 9 Beloved Characters Made Horrifying By Japan

Here’s a new Cracked article I added some funny to. You may larf at will:

9 Beloved Characters Made Horrifying By Japan

Japan can take apart other people’s inventions, like radios or TV sets, and put them back together better, cheaper and likely in the shape of Hello Kitty. However, the Japanese skill for reverse engineering works less well when it comes to reconfiguring our beloved pop culture icons…

Inception Ending: The top falls and here is the proof

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By titling this post “Inception Ending” it goes without saying we’re about to embark into Spoiler territory, but since I said it anyway, if you are a non-Inception watcher, put your earmuffs on.

Now then, the brilliant final shot of Christopher Nolan’s movie leaves us with the top spinning, though with a slight wobble. Then darkness. It’s up to you to decide how the thing ends. This leads us toward two conclusions:

1)      The top falls, Cobb made it to reality, has reunited with his kids against all odds and gets the happy ending.

2)      The top never falls, Cobb never escaped Limbo and has created a happy ending fantasy in which he is reunited with his kids.

I’m here to tell you the top falls, and to explain let’s observe something about each dream within Inception.

Darth Vader robs a bank on Long Island

You know the economy bad when the times are even tough on the Empire. Witnesses say Vader is 6’2″ and wore camouflage pants. Nice try, Vader, but we can see through your disguise.

Source: Gothamist

Is Inception really about the film making process?

I also like this interpretation of Inception. It covers the whole movie, not just the ending. The nice thing about this one is this theory can co-exist with others. It’s just another layer of subtext and plays into the idea of the filmmaker (Nolan) as  dream maker. After all, he’s built his career creating fabulous, cathartic illusions. From the Chicago Sun-Times:

Want to know what the ending to Inception means? I have the answer.

Fun with Cole on Twitter

So the big question: when Cobb finally gets back to his kids, is it reality or a dream?