Website Dedicated to People Who Think The Onion News is Real

Should be totally funny, but it’s more sad really.

Literally Unbelievable

Best Video Game of the Year Developed by 5-Year-Old Girl: Sissy’s Magical Ponycorn Adventure

Think Portal 2 is the best game of 2011 thus far? Screw that noise. Blown away by the revolutionary technical feat that is LA Noire? That’s baby stuff. Hands down, the best video game to come out this year, in perhaps the last 10 years, is Sissy’s Magical Ponycorn Adventure. Developed by a 5-year-old girl named Cassie, SMPA is the mind-bending, next-evolutionary-step the gaming world has been crying out for. Also, it has PONYCORNS!!! (if you don’t know the difference between a ponycorn and a pony or unicorn you can just pack your shit and leave) You say you like your games with lots of realism? This shit is as real as it gets. Too real for yo’ punk ass, right ladies?

Yeah, the art design is a little rough around the edges. Lay off, she’s 5 years old! What we’re you doing at 5? Eating poo, that’s what. And it wasn’t even always your poo. Besides, the messy artwork is totally intentional and serves as critique of gaming’s current obsession with pounding so much verisimilitude into games that they erase all semblance of character and idiosyncratic style.

Go and play this sucker now. Actually, you might want to get your affairs in order first because this game WILL DESTROY YOU.

Sissy’s Magical Ponycorn Adventure.

This Just In: Hunger Games Movie Gonna Suck Now Thanks to Lenny Kravitz

If you’re familiar with The Hunger Games books, you know the character of Cinna as a pillar of intelligence and decency who almost single-handedly keep protagonist Katniss sane throughout her trials. Yes, he’s a “stylist” but he’s also a sage, a father figure to father-less Katniss, and in the end, a noble dissenter. His role is as crucial to the stories as Haymitch or Peeta.

Batman, Darth Vader and Boba Fett in Coffee Form

You almost don’t want to drink it. Also, this must take a depressing enormous amount of time to master.

So Here’s What Katniss Will Look Like

Seth MacFarland Reboots The Flintstones

I didn’t realize my childhood had testicles until Seth MacFarland kicked the crap out of them.

from EW

Calvin and Hobbes: 25 Years Later

Webcomic Pants Are Overrated creates this spot on spiritual successor to Calvin and Hobbes with a grown up Calvin. A flood of old feelings come back. Hope Waterson is OK with this.

Facebook Caught Using Evil Tricks on Google

Oops, turns out facebook isn’t just petty ex-boyfriend evil anymore. Now it’s straight up cat-stroking, maniacal laughing in a hollowed out volcano evil. Of course I decided to share this info on facebook.

Woman “Contracts” Irish Accent after Dental Surgery

This woman woke up from her dental surgery with an Irish accent. This is a real-ish thing called “foreign accent syndrome.” Only 60 cases of FAS have been reported since 1941. As far as extremely rare neurological disorders go, this one’s pretty rad. To be honest though, that’s not the best irish accent I’ve heard. It’s about as good as Keanu Reeves’ English accent. On this video they show another white woman with a Chinese accent, which must be far more tricky to pass off.

Dads are the Original Hipsters

Excellent new tumblr blog that show all of today’s smug hipsters that there dad did it first and he was crushing it back in the day. For example:

Your dad wore short shorts before you did and he has the upper thigh tan lines to prove it. It takes a certain kind of man to pull off wearing what most would consider lady attire, but your dad was that man. He walked around with the kind of confidence that said he could properly sex any women, mollywhop any man and escape any law. People today call it swag, but your dad didn’t need a name for it because he had it everyday.

So hipsters, next time you’re cutting a pair of Dickies off to mid thigh so that you can ride your fixie without catching your shorts on your knees, remember this…

If you live to be half the man that your dad was, you’ll still be a disappointment, but at least you’re trying not to suck… which is a start, because you suck right now.

Really, check the site out: Dads: The Original Hipster