Category Archives: Uncategorized

Conquer Everything: Table of Contents!

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A Story So Sad You Will Barf with Grief. My Story.

At this point you may wonder: “where do you get off?!” Excellent question. Where indeed do I get off granting you this golden, life-changing wisdom and advice? How do I qualify to lead you through the thorny thickets of self … Continue reading

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Introduction to Conquer Everything

“Welcome to the first day of the end of your sad, non-conquering life.” Congratulations! By picking up this book, which I assume you purchased—we don’t need to encourage the socialized charity that is the “library” anymore than necessary—you’ve made a … Continue reading

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Rick James IS the Hulk

“I’m the Hulk, BITCH!” Really though, Average White Guy’s reaction, “That brotha’s turning into a monster–and it’s Super Freaky,” is what totally brings this thing together. I am a white guy and I’m pretty sure I can’t get away with … Continue reading

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The Boy on a Unicorn Bike

This. It takes a metric butt-ton of badassery for a 12-year-old boy to tool around town on a unicorn bike. Do not mess with this kid, he has more raw chutzpah then ten men. This man will be President one … Continue reading

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Steve Jobs Action Figure Amazing, Creepy as Hell

I’m no Steve Jobs fan, but I am a fan of insanely detailed craftmanship and creeping people out, and this Steve Jobs doll has both in spades. Oh poor Apple die-hards, now you can finally have Steve give that erotic … Continue reading

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If Adam West Played Batman In “The Dark Knight Rises”

We need to Swede this sucker now.

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Best Fan-Made Dark Knight Rises Poster

Fan made posters are the best made posters.

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On Batman, Jesus, Farts and Other Nerdy Napkin Advice to My Daughter

I recently took over lunch making duty for my 2nd grader. Her mom always included a little note on the napkin to the effect of, “I Love You.” I decided to keep the napkin noting tradition, but spice it up … Continue reading

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Two-Story Batman, Star Wars and Other Geeky Snowmen

I know it seems like this country is in a downward spiral, but if you ever question America’s greatness, just check out these snow sculptures. USA! USA!

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