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Category Archives: Things We Do Not Speak of
The Post in Which I Save the Environment
As it is I can’t stop huffing gasoline. Oh gasoline, you smell like rainbows. Continue reading
People Who Make Terrible Things – Birth of the Cubicle
Like a Movie Scientist, Robert Propst began with the best of intentions. In the early 60’s, Propst, a young and talented designer who helped create such life saving devices as heart pumps, sought to improve the modern workplace. His intended solution: to promote the productivity, privacy, and health of workers everywhere. Also like a Movie Scientist, Propst’s creation became a monster. Continue reading
Posted in The Daily, Things We Do Not Speak of
Tagged cubcile, day, design, funny, herman miller, office, salary, terrible, work
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A Touchy Subject -or- Don’t Fear My Son’s Penis
Having a baby boy, we’ve come to find, is different than the demands of a baby girl. Adding that XY contribution, Dalton has brought a certain special brand of maleness to our home, especially lately for Dalton has taken to grabbing his junk.
A lot. Continue reading
Posted in Tales of Shocking Shockery, Things We Do Not Speak of
Tagged American Broadcasting Company, diapers, family, fear, funny, genitals, Parenting, penis, poop, potty training, sex
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Use More of My Oil!
Oil is my life. Oil has made me grotesquely rich. I own homes I’ve never seen. Hell, I own people I’ve never seen. But I never let my staggering crapulence get in the way of consistently delivering delicious crude to all you fine consumers. If oil is the blood of the earth, than I am the biggest, fattest mosquito around. And who doesn’t love a fat blood sucker?
So imagine my surprise when I discovered you motorists have conspired against me. Normally I spend the summers in an ether-induced coma until the holiday season arrives. But this year my man servant Chauncey woke me a month early. Continue reading
Posted in 1 Thing, The Daily, Things We Do Not Speak of
Tagged Automobile, cars, funny, gas, oil, Oregon, Petroleum
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5 Awful Music Acts that Will Get You Laid
Kick ass music and having sex do not go hand in hand. Any guy whose high school girlfriend who would not let him so much as touch her without Boys II Men crooning their cardigan-flavored R and B in the background can attest to this fact. Face it; you just can’t coax a lady into your carnal thunderdome (aka your parent’s basement) to the strains of AC/DC or Led Zeppelin. But here are some horrific “music makers” who’ll get the job done. Continue reading
A Copywriter is Stalking You
a advertisement writer stalks you through commercials. Continue reading
Posted in The Daily, Things We Do Not Speak of
Tagged admirer, advertisements, Comcast Digital Voice, commercials, copywriter, funny, Hawaiian Islands, luxury car, Quiznos, stalker, Volcano
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