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Category Archives: Things We Do Not Speak of
Brilliant Business Idea: Jamba Juice…with BOOZE!
The Plan: Simple. I stand outside of a Jamba Juice and as people exit with their healthy smoothies I offered them a shot of either vodka or rum, just $2 a pop. Continue reading
Posted in The Daily, Things We Do Not Speak of
Tagged alcohol, alcoholism, health, humor, jamba juice, juice, vodka
1 Comment
Classiest Prom Picture Ever
Man I miss prom. I’m still pissed I didn’t get to bring my broadsword. And that my date wouldn’t agree to strip naked for the photo. And that we didn’t both stick to our plan to gain 120 pounds before the big night. Continue reading
Posted in Tales of Shocking Shockery, The Daily, Things We Do Not Speak of
Tagged buzzfeed, fat, high school, humor, naked, nerds, obese, photography, prom, sword, viral
1 Comment
WTF of the Day: 7-Year-Olds Perform Sexy Version of “Single Ladies”
Like I’ve said before, the children are our future. And our future is full of hyper sexualized toddlers emotionally and developmentally dysfunctional thanks to parents who really, really don’t get he whole “parenting” thing. Continue reading
Posted in The Daily, Things We Do Not Speak of
Tagged beyonce, children, entertainment, funny, lap dance, Parenting, pop culture, scandal, school, sex, weird, wrong, you tube
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Want My Grotesquely Unqualified Advice on Sex? Sure You Do!
a guy known for painstakingly crafted wiener jokes gives his absurdly unqualified advice on how to pleasure a lady Continue reading
Posted in The Daily, Things We Do Not Speak of
Tagged advice, angelina jolie, blog, dating, foreplay, funny, jokes, man and woman, Marriage, moaning, orgasm, Relationships, sex, sex advice, sex talk, sex tricks, sexual attraction, stimulation, wiener
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How to Recognize Comedy
We all crave a chuckle now and then, but most of us chose to receive our larfs in safe venues like open mike comedy clubs or your local college improvisational team. Why limit your yuks to these rare and controlled occasions when comedy is all around us? Comedy is, after all, nothing more than a common situation with surprising or unexpected results. I myself have an uncanny knack for recognizing comedy in daily existence. Allow me to present some recent situations I found myself in to illustrate how to spot comedy in your life. Continue reading
Posted in The Daily, Things We Do Not Speak of
Tagged comedy, comedy fail, dogs, education, gun rights, humor, jim belushi, Lawyer, liberal politics, Right-wing politics, skethes, study, Supreme Court
2 Comments
How I Write – a drunken, violent, yelling-filled guide to the aspiring writer
How much muse (alcohol) is enough muse? That’s particular to each individual writer, but as a rule of thumb I find once I start “losing time” the creative pump is adequately primed. What happens next is the magic of the craft. No writer can truly tell you what happens once they “get into the zone” but I can tell you I usually wake up in my underwear, shivering under my writer’s cot, my fists clutching glow wand and lottery tickets. Continue reading
Posted in The Daily, Things We Do Not Speak of
Tagged advice, alcohol, alcoholism, Arts, aspiring writer, booze, fighting, funny, humor, liquor, Maya Angelou, New York Times Best Seller list, Novel, oprah, self help, sexy, Stephen King, Steven King, success, The New York Times Company, violence, workshop, Writer
3 Comments
A Special Environmental Message from Mr. T
Hey sucka. That’s right, this is Mr. T. Yeah, I still exist. Mr. T’s taking a break from pitying fools and looking for paying work to yell at you about sustainability. What, you don’t think Mr. T knows about sustainability? Then you don’t know Mr. T. Here is some other stuff you don’t know about Mr. T:
• Many folk believe Mr. T’s name “B.A.” on the A-Team stands for Bad Attitude. It doesn’t. It stands for “Bees and Ants.” Mr. T thought his character should have the secret power to control bees and ants. NBC didn’t go for it, which is why Mr. T thinks NBC stands for “Never Be Considering” Mr. T’s suggestions. Continue reading
Posted in 1 Thing, The Daily, Things We Do Not Speak of
Tagged A-Team, Business, Business and Economy, environment, funny, green, I Pity the Fool, Mr. T, Recycling, television
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Super Bowl XLVI Commentated by 19th Century English Dandy Lord Horatio Byron Fluttersby.
My word, what is this, my good fellows? Could this be a game of footsieball? Well, well. Why I could watch footsieball for a fortnight. Ee Gads! Continue reading
Posted in The Daily, Things We Do Not Speak of
Tagged 19th century, 2012, Arts, britain, Caribbean, comedy, dandy, english, football, funny, giants, Henry James, Magna Carta, nfl, patriots, pundit, Scarlet Pimpernel, Sexuality, sports, super bowl XLVI, television, tobacco
1 Comment
The 5 Most Common Time Travel Mistakes
Ever since time travel was invented in the mid 1980’s, man has enjoyed the pleasures and stress-relieving benefits of bopping along the time stream. What better way to unwind after a hard day at office than to spend a few hours in that mystical land of “the past” where every day is a Renaissance fair? Time travel, however, is not a right but a privilege, and with that privilege comes great responsibility. With that in mind, whether this is your this is your first time “trippin’” or your 1,000th, we could all do well to refresh ourselves on the 5 most common time travel mistakes, the potential damages they pose against the space-time continuum and what you can do to avoid them. Continue reading
Posted in The Daily, Things We Do Not Speak of
Tagged Adolf Hitler, family, funny, George Foreman, Germany, History, humor, inventions, jesus, JFK, movies, Nazi Germany, Roman Empire, romans, science fiction, Third Reich, time travel, World War II
3 Comments
