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Category Archives: The Daily
The 5 Most Common Time Travel Mistakes
Ever since time travel was invented in the mid 1980’s, man has enjoyed the pleasures and stress-relieving benefits of bopping along the time stream. What better way to unwind after a hard day at office than to spend a few hours in that mystical land of “the past” where every day is a Renaissance fair? Time travel, however, is not a right but a privilege, and with that privilege comes great responsibility. With that in mind, whether this is your this is your first time “trippin’” or your 1,000th, we could all do well to refresh ourselves on the 5 most common time travel mistakes, the potential damages they pose against the space-time continuum and what you can do to avoid them. Continue reading
Posted in The Daily, Things We Do Not Speak of
Tagged Adolf Hitler, family, funny, George Foreman, Germany, History, humor, inventions, jesus, JFK, movies, Nazi Germany, Roman Empire, romans, science fiction, Third Reich, time travel, World War II
3 Comments
People Who Make Terrible Things – Birth of the Cubicle
Like a Movie Scientist, Robert Propst began with the best of intentions. In the early 60’s, Propst, a young and talented designer who helped create such life saving devices as heart pumps, sought to improve the modern workplace. His intended solution: to promote the productivity, privacy, and health of workers everywhere. Also like a Movie Scientist, Propst’s creation became a monster. Continue reading
Posted in The Daily, Things We Do Not Speak of
Tagged cubcile, day, design, funny, herman miller, office, salary, terrible, work
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Use More of My Oil!
Oil is my life. Oil has made me grotesquely rich. I own homes I’ve never seen. Hell, I own people I’ve never seen. But I never let my staggering crapulence get in the way of consistently delivering delicious crude to all you fine consumers. If oil is the blood of the earth, than I am the biggest, fattest mosquito around. And who doesn’t love a fat blood sucker?
So imagine my surprise when I discovered you motorists have conspired against me. Normally I spend the summers in an ether-induced coma until the holiday season arrives. But this year my man servant Chauncey woke me a month early. Continue reading
Posted in 1 Thing, The Daily, Things We Do Not Speak of
Tagged Automobile, cars, funny, gas, oil, Oregon, Petroleum
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Things You Should Never Say at a Chuck E. Cheese Birthday Party
“Hey why don’t we skip the pitcher of beer and just set me up with an IV, eh Chuck? Just kidding, but seriously, keep those pitchers coming. Dad’s in some pain and he needs his medicine.” Continue reading
Posted in The Daily
Tagged Babies, Breastfeeding, CHUCK E. CHEESE, family, fun, humor, kids, Medicine, weird
2 Comments
Sandwiches Rule!, V.1
Sandwiches = Life. There is probably only one reason to continue shuffling about our mortal coil on this dirty blue marble—and that is sandwiches and the promise of more sandwiches to come. Sandwiches combine deliciousness with convenience with impregnating your brain with hugs. Continue reading
Posted in The Daily
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5 Awful Music Acts that Will Get You Laid
Kick ass music and having sex do not go hand in hand. Any guy whose high school girlfriend who would not let him so much as touch her without Boys II Men crooning their cardigan-flavored R and B in the background can attest to this fact. Face it; you just can’t coax a lady into your carnal thunderdome (aka your parent’s basement) to the strains of AC/DC or Led Zeppelin. But here are some horrific “music makers” who’ll get the job done. Continue reading
A Copywriter is Stalking You
a advertisement writer stalks you through commercials. Continue reading
Posted in The Daily, Things We Do Not Speak of
Tagged admirer, advertisements, Comcast Digital Voice, commercials, copywriter, funny, Hawaiian Islands, luxury car, Quiznos, stalker, Volcano
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