Category Archives: Cracked

Stuff I wrote for Cracked.com.

Another Cracked Comedy Classic:5 Incredibly Impractical Sexual Fetishes

Everyone’s got their kink. Maybe you like a girl in a gold Princess Leia bikini, maybe you go a little further and make her dress up like that alien singer at Jabba’s palace. Continue reading

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New Cracked Article: 9 Beloved Characters Made Horrifying By Japan

Japan can take apart other people’s inventions, like radios or TV sets, and put them back together better, cheaper and likely in the shape of Hello Kitty. However, the Japanese skill for reverse engineering works less well when it comes to reconfiguring our beloved pop culture icons. Continue reading

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Cracked: The Worst Jobs Done By Children

Let’s talk 9-year-old children forced into coal mines and castrati. Continue reading

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New Cracked Article: Kayne West’s Travel Agency

…and other absolute batshit insane product ideas from famous brands. Kellogg’s Cereal Gangsta Wear, Burger King Cologne, Evian Water Bras for combustible boobs, baby food for sad adults and Jeff Dunham wines. It’d be so sad if it weren’t true. Wait, no, being true makes it really sad. Continue reading

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Cracked Comedy Classic: People with Pointless Super Powers

The picture below is of a man lifting heavy metal with his junk. Guess you’re gonna have to read the article now to figure that one out. Continue reading

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Cracked: How The Karate Kid Ruined The Modern World

It turns out training montages are the root cause of all that’s wrong in the world. Continue reading

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Cracked Article: The 5 Worst Deaths Written for Great Characters (And Why)

occasionally you see a character die in an abrupt, pointless way that seemed to have been written in as an afterthought, or even in such an undignified way that you suspect the writers included it as a “screw you” to the actor.

Well, there’s a reason for that. Continue reading

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