Four Bizarre Baby Halloween Costumes that Count as Child Abuse

Baby Hitler

Boy this reeks of trying too hard. If you’re looking for a way to tell the world, “I am way too edgy to be a parent” dressing your kid like Hitler will do the trick. Amazing attention to detail on the costume, though. That had to take 10’s of hours to make. Which means this kid’s mom or dad sat for a couple of late nights, stitching on swastikas and thinking, “this is gonna be so CUTE!”

Congrats, Baby Hitler, on winning the Douchebag Olympics, Parenting Division. Perhaps next year mom and dad will dress you as a cancerous tumor or genocide.

Alien Bursting out of a Chicken

Stick with a plan, people! Your child can’t be both the Fist Fighting Chicken from Family Guy and a victim of an Alien Chestburster. I swear, it’s like you guys start mixing up the blood syrup before you come up with a solid idea.

Michael Jackson

Is it just me, or has this year had an inordinate amount of really famous people dying? Looking at this Michael Jackson costume makes me realize we should expect to see a ton of Baby Patrick Swayzes, Baby Ted Kennedys and Baby Billy Mays’ on doorsteps this year. Stay classy, America.

Tree Air Freshener

No arm or leg holes? How is this not child abuse?