On one hand, I’m super happy Jake Gyllenhaal is so easily amused. I mean, we should all be happy, you know? But then I get to thinking perhaps Jake Gyllenhaal has access to some kind of super food that only celebrities and astronauts are allowed to have. Some kind of food that tells you knock knock jokes while you eat it. Or perhaps it just tells you about the embarrassing time it lost its virginity in the backseat of a Tercel. And then, just thinking about that super amazing food only Jake Gyllenhaal gets to have make me real mad.
So mad in fact, I’m taking some of those extra letters in your name. Look at you with your double “L”s and double “A”s, flaunting and prancing your extraneous letters around like some kind of rich and unshaven peacock. Now you’re just Jake Gylenhal. Har!