Want My Grotesquely Unqualified Advice on Sex? Sure You Do!

Pro Tip: Always Have A Field of Poppies Handy (for Her Pleasure)

Life is funny. You make enough friends and eventually someone is going to ask you to write a column on the female orgasm. People realize I’m a guy known for painstakingly crafted wiener jokes, right?

Doesn’t matter, my opinion on girls and their mysterious ladyparts, sex pleasures and what-nots is completely valid now that it’s posted on a website somewhere. Nay, my word on women’s sexual pleasure is LAW! So, you want to read it? I actually took the assignment seriously (kind of).

It’s here.

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