Things People Won’t Say to Me Once I Own a Dragon

I don’t know my way around a dragon

I am limited to only one sample at Costco.

That my Canadian coins won’t be accepted as currency.

I can not have a to-go box at the all-you-can-eat buffet.

That I don’t have a dragon.

That I haven’t totally recovered in a kick ass way from the divorce.

That owning and riding a dragon isn’t a god-given right to every American (not to my face or my dragon’s two faces, anyway).

That Dragons don’t kill people, idiots who carelessly handle their dragons and dragon owners on drugs kill people, ruining it for the rest of us.  (Actually they will say this, and by “they” I mean all my new dragon riding friends)

I have a small penis.

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