Tag Archives: football

My Incredibly Uninformed Opinion on Why Ben Roethlisberger Should Go to Jail

Posted on April 21, 2010 by

Pittsburghers and Steelers fans, our wishes and prayers are with you as you wait for your rapist quarterback to return to the field. Man, I can’t wait for Sunday! Continue reading →

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Super Bowl XLVI Commentated by 19th Century English Dandy Lord Horatio Byron Fluttersby.

Posted on October 9, 2009 by

My word, what is this, my good fellows? Could this be a game of footsieball? Well, well. Why I could watch footsieball for a fortnight. Ee Gads! Continue reading →

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“Smear the Queer” and Why I Don’t Play Sports

Posted on September 4, 2009 by

When I was young I rarely engaged in sports. A fat kid who bruised easily, the only time I broke a sweat is when I leaned too close to the toaster oven waiting for my pizza bagels. I was so fat my parents had to rub Vaseline on my thighs to keep them from chaffing. I wish I had not just said/written that. Continue reading →

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