Tag Archives: cars

The Racing Game That Lets You Hit Cows

Hit a cow! Continue reading

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New Batmobile is a Bobsled

Looks like someone took the KITT car, smashed it up with a Manta Ray and put it through the Taffy Puller. For the look of this flying torpedo, I hope it’s fast, because turning is going to be murder (or perhaps just not an available option on this model). Continue reading

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Kiddy Road Rage

This is why kids aren’t allowed to drive. Continue reading

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Introducing the World’s First Strip Club/Used Car Lot Hybrid

And since the car inventory is in the lot behind the building, I guess the saying should go, “Party up front; business in the rear.” Make of that phrase what you will. Continue reading

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Another Cracked Comedy Classic:5 Incredibly Impractical Sexual Fetishes

Everyone’s got their kink. Maybe you like a girl in a gold Princess Leia bikini, maybe you go a little further and make her dress up like that alien singer at Jabba’s palace. Continue reading

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7 Great Products for Telling the World You’re a Rich Prick

New article up on Cracked in which I help you to loathe rich people even more than you already do by showcase extravagant cat weddings, $12,000 erotic massages…for your car and a half million dollar dog house with retinal scanner security and 50-inch plasma TV.You’re welcome, collapse of society. Continue reading

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Jokes My Four Year Old Recently Told Me

What did the giraffe say to the sky?

A: Get lost, buddy! Continue reading

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Use More of My Oil!

Oil is my life. Oil has made me grotesquely rich. I own homes I’ve never seen. Hell, I own people I’ve never seen. But I never let my staggering crapulence get in the way of consistently delivering delicious crude to all you fine consumers. If oil is the blood of the earth, than I am the biggest, fattest mosquito around. And who doesn’t love a fat blood sucker?

So imagine my surprise when I discovered you motorists have conspired against me. Normally I spend the summers in an ether-induced coma until the holiday season arrives. But this year my man servant Chauncey woke me a month early. Continue reading

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