Fast cars and fast trigger fingers: that’s to M.O. for Secret Agents Calvin and Hobbes. And they’ll need to stay a step ahead if they’re to foil the world domination plots of the nefarious Dr. (Evil) Robin and his mysterious associate, “The Bear.”

The Internet delights at tearing (not pulling) at our heartstrings as one talented artist after another gives us a glimpse into the future of the unimpeachably greatest comic strip of all time, Calvin and Hobbes. (The pitch perfect Adventures of Bacon and Hobbes from PantsAreOverrated.com is a particular favorite.)

These comics give us some sense of closure after Bill Watterson’s epically open ended final panel.

Keep Reading for More Pics…

 They are total fan service, sure, but at times hew so close to the original source material as to seemingly presume the mantle of Watterson’s work. Bill Watterson’s famous reclusiveness only adds fuel to the fan-fic fire. Watterson has produced no significant work since his Calvin and Hobbes finale. He refuses interviews, publicity, the spotlight and even autograph requests. I almost titled this post, “The Monastic Life of Bill Watterson” but a delving into Watterson’s post-Calvin life deserves more time and space then this blog (not to mention it’s been done a million times and inquiries into his life interminable end up with shallow findings. The man is good at staying off the radar.)

In 2010 he made a rare showing for a lawsuit involving unauthorized use of his most famous creations (considering Calvin and Hobbes have been bastardized over a billion times in some of the most unseemly ways, it’s amazing Watterson hasn’t sued the planet).

That said, people lurv Calvin and Hobbes and one-offs like this from artist CoranKizerStone. And yeah, if Calvin’s imagination survived the transition to adulthood, he and Hobbes would totally be secret agents. Of course Christopher Robin is evil; he has a British accent, doesn’t he? And I’ve always insisted Winnie the Pooh looks like a straight up Bond Villain. 

More from this Artist: http://corankizerstone.deviantart.com/

It’s pretty hard to shake up the racing game genre these days. Car-fu, explosions, cartoon physics–it’s all been done. But have you ever driven over a cow? There’s a cow hidden in this racing game, see if you can find it and nail it (it might explode into hamburgers).

http://xeonracing.intel.com/

Planning on swimming or camping? What if you come upon a shark or get lost and dehydrated? Well don’t punch that shark in the nose or eat the snow. And lying down to avoid lightening? A great plan to get a nice even charring. Listen to this radio interview I did as I save you from yourself.

Image: Hyperbole and a Half

First, TOTAL SPOILERS, obvs.

Second, I’m not a fan of slapping religious connotations to pop culture. Every time a character sacrifices their life on film I don’t automatically think, “Yep, Jesus.”

That said, the amount of “The Batman is the Jesus” symbolism The Dark Knight Rises lays out is too much to ignore (at least to me).

1. Let’s start with a little Old Testament. In Batman Begins, Ra’s al Ghul plans to destroy Gotham for all the decadence and immorality. Gotham has sinned, and Ra’s, like a forsaking God, Ra’s will unmake them. Incidentally, how does he intend to destroy Gotham? With a flood, turning all the water into a giant cloud of nightmare steam—sending all of Gotham into a literal hell. Thanks for the Sunday School refresher, Nolan. This has nothing to do with Jesus and more to do with Biblical

2. Speed up to The Dark Knight Rises. Gotham, a modern day Gomorrah, is still a sinner. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer. Even with the abundance of peace–peace is built on a lie (The Dent Act). Gotham’s golden period is an illusion. All the petty criminals are locked away, just making it easier for the big time criminals (Daggett) to play. Through Bane, Ra’s al Ghul’s plan to wipe Gotham off the face of the Earth wasn’t thwarted; it just went to “Plan B.” Gotham will pay for its sins, once more (and this time with feeling!).

3. Beaten to the brink of death, left with just a sliver of life to endure the pain to come, Batman goes into the pit. There he’s strapped up, despite the pain, left to hang interminably, his arms splayed. Stop me when you’ve heard this one…

4. The device of Gotham’s destruction is sin itself. That’s why Ra’s al Ghul came to town in Batman Begins, like a vengeful god. It’s why Bane takes hold of Gotham in The Dark Knight Rises. The power reactor/nuclear bomb actually represents two of man’s greatest evils: greed (the need to consume unrelentingly, energy in this case) and wraith (man’s unrelenting desire to destroy one another). The bomb is a symbol of Gotham’s (and mankind’s sins).

5. Okay, this is the part where the hero dies for the greater good (insert haphazard) Jesus allegory here. Yes, Batman died for your sins.

6. “But Batman doesn’t die,” you might say. Oh yes he does. If there is one theme this trilogy has hammered into us consistent throughout the three Nolan Batfilms, it’s this: Batman is not a man, he is a symbol.

“If you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal, you become something else entirely.” – Liam Neeson/Ra’s al Ghul, Batman Begins.

Batman is not Bruce Wayne, nor is he a man in a Batsuit. Batman is an idea. And that idea, that symbol exploded over the ocean (Gotham Bay?)

7. Finally, let’s not forget Jesus comes back. That’s the non-chocolate eggs and jellybeans part of Easter. From the final shot of the movie, as John (Robin) Blake ascends into the Batcave, it is certain Batman’s resurrection* will come.

*Warner Bros., feel free to use Batman: Resurrection for your next Batman reboot. It’s on the house.**

**No it’s not. I want backend.

(I apologize if this is a little hard to follow. It was hastily created and even less thought out.)

More to be found here: http://nickcagecats.tumblr.com/

A new piece I wrote for Mental Floss about how all your favorite food are liar. Filthy, rotten LIARS!

Come all ye hipsters to kneel before him.

This was set to be attached ahead of The Avengers, but Warner Bros. put together a viral game that allowed people to put together the trailer fram by frame. And of course, they already did. So go buy some more pants, Sally, because you’re about to poop every pair you own.

Here’s the radio interview I did about Dumb Horror Movies. You don’t even have to listen; just leave a comment so they think I’m awesome and will want to have me on again.

GO: Inanimate objects are the spookiest horror film villains

Exactly