Category Archives: 1 Thing

A Special Environmental Message from Mr. T

Posted on October 9, 2009 by

Hey sucka. That’s right, this is Mr. T. Yeah, I still exist. Mr. T’s taking a break from pitying fools and looking for paying work to yell at you about sustainability. What, you don’t think Mr. T knows about sustainability? Then you don’t know Mr. T. Here is some other stuff you don’t know about Mr. T:

• Many folk believe Mr. T’s name “B.A.” on the A-Team stands for Bad Attitude. It doesn’t. It stands for “Bees and Ants.” Mr. T thought his character should have the secret power to control bees and ants. NBC didn’t go for it, which is why Mr. T thinks NBC stands for “Never Be Considering” Mr. T’s suggestions. Continue reading →

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Use More of My Oil!

Posted on August 28, 2009 by

Oil is my life. Oil has made me grotesquely rich. I own homes I’ve never seen. Hell, I own people I’ve never seen. But I never let my staggering crapulence get in the way of consistently delivering delicious crude to all you fine consumers. If oil is the blood of the earth, than I am the biggest, fattest mosquito around. And who doesn’t love a fat blood sucker?

So imagine my surprise when I discovered you motorists have conspired against me. Normally I spend the summers in an ether-induced coma until the holiday season arrives. But this year my man servant Chauncey woke me a month early. Continue reading →

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